These days I don’t have time. These days I am grateful for dry shampoo. These days my car keys went missing yesterday. These days they are probably in the oven drawer under the loaf pan, or in the tub of 2T clothes I just stored away for next winter. These days I forget to blend in that spot of concealer I applied at the four stop intersection. These days I have mastered the skill of putting my car in park, sliding my seat back, pulling the back of my shoes up over my heels, tying laces if applicable, twisting and stretching my body to reach Gideon’s short little arms, giving/retrieving pacifiers or sippy cups, turning back around, sliding my seat back into position, and taking the car out of park all in the duration of one red light change.
These days I have to add “answer ______ ‘s text” to my to-do list or it doesn’t get done. These days I seriously have 5 unheard messages on my phone which – come to think of it – died a few hours ago on the second floor somewhere.
There is nothing that has caused me to treasure life and fun more than being Gideon’s mother. There is also nothing that has caused me to re-evaluate and re-organize life’s priorities more than being Gideon’s mother. According to The Wonder Weeks, Gideon is going through Mental Leap 9, which is the world of principles. He is doing his job of figuring out what aspects of the world around him are accessible and prohibited. He is figuring out what his roles are, and what roles Daniel and I have in his life. Gideon is not always happy when he realizes that one of our roles is to stop him from going through with an urge or action because it’s not safe or appropriate. But I can see more and more that Gideon appreciates being understood and heard when he is angry or objecting to something. He is especially really receptive to consistency. Now if Daniel and I could muster up the energy is takes to be consistent. It’s so tempting to be lazy and let him get his way sometimes.
While the ways in which Gideon needs us are changing, the things that he has begun to need from Daniel and I require more planning, strategizing, and investing emotional attention. And where he may not need us in certain ways anymore, he has begun to want us more. It’s reassuring that where he needed us to sit close to him to make sure he didn’t fall over, he now wants us to sit close and participate in whatever he’s doing.
That being said, in Gideon’s short life I have never been more challenged to maintain balance in my life. Going out with a friend for lunch is no longer simple. I can’t just sit Gideon down with a toy and get a chore done in one sitting anymore. Right about the time I have start preparing dinner is the time of day when my little toddler (!) demands my attention the most. I am immensely grateful for the Ergo, and the ability to carry him on my hip or on my back. Otherwise, we realistically would not be able to eat as healthily and “from scratch” as we do.
Gideon is soon going to outweigh the max limit for this amazing carrier, and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. In the meantime:
Who’s with me?