When I was in high school, my best friend and I would plan ahead of time for VMA night. She had a TV in her room, so we knew a sleepover at her house was in order. We would gather our snacks and junk food, and cheer on our favorite musicians and bands. There are so many artists that take me back to those days. Will Smith, Natalie Imbruglia, Garbage, DMB, Backstreet Boys, Ricky Martin, Lauryn Hill, Puff Daddy, Madonna, Britney Spears, Celine Dion … to name a very select few that I remember being nominated for different awards. Even back then (did I just emphasize how very long ago I was a high schooler? Oops.) there was plenty of scandal going on during this very unorthodox awards show. I remember Eminem reaching into his pocket for an award speech, and a bunch of pills falling out of his pocket. Marilyn Manson … I have no words. Oh! I also remember Lil’ Kim’s outfit one year, and Diana Ross’ fascination with it. Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl (right? With Justin Timberlake?) had nothing on Lil’ Kim’s wardrobe no-function.
Anyways, getting back to the point I was in the process of making, I used to watch the VMA’s without fail every year. Perhaps it was my weakness of character or the fact that MTV really seems to target the youthful population. Whatever the reason, I felt strange not watching them – like I was not being a part of “my generation”. Once I reached my college years, I guess I learned that I could finally leave the VMA’s behind me and just focus on all the good things that were happening in my life.
Looking back I realize one thing about my teenage years: I wasn’t happy with myself nor did I feel good after watching the VMA’s. In fact, I felt kind of … dirty. I knew that the things happening on the show were wrong and did me no good to the point where they were harmful. It’s insane how we knowingly do things that aren’t good for us. I know I was only a teenager, but even then when I saw the things that would take place at these award shows I would think back to the society Noah raised his sons in, and Sodom and Gomorrah. I remember actually thinking to myself “He promised not to flood the Earth, but He also promised He’s coming back”. Seeing how lost people are, how their twisted ideas of sexuality and selfishness consume their lives, really got me to wondering just how much more God could stand.
Well, it’s been 13 plus years since then and we are all still here. One thing is more for sure than anything else I know: God loves us a whole lot more than even makes sense. Because the other night when I got on Facebook and Googled Miley Cyrus after seeing 50% of updates with her name on them, the same emotions and thoughts I had at 17 came rushing back and I actually felt wholeheartedly saddened. “Nothing’s changed”. Sure, I felt sad because Miley Cyrus is another young celebrity whose spirit bit the dust, and who has no sense of self-respect or her true worth. But honestly and truly I have almost been in tears a few times just trying to conceive of what God goes through day in and day out, how it hurts and saddens him to see us whom He created so intricately be so self-destructive by turning our backs on His irrational love for us.
I know I sound pessimistic and all you “the glass is half FULL” thinkers out there are probably thinking “what a downer”. And you might be right. But the fact is, God doesn’t have a choice but to see both halves. The full half and the empty half. We can tune out the bad and live joyfully. But we aren’t the ones seeing the biggest picture of all pictures. God sees the good things that are happening and looks down with nothing but love. He also sees all the bad things happening and looks down with nothing but love. And that is what breaks my heart, melts my heart, and makes me want to cry.